Do Farmers eat Ranchers?

A cannibalistic sharecropper traversing this world and eating poor helpless ranchers.

“Honey! I’m craving a rancher.” The farmer said.

“Okay dear, I’ll get you a rancher to have with your lunch.” She chirped, in that beautiful voice he loves to hear.

“You are a wonderful wife.” He replied as he kissed her on the cheek. Then continued doing the things that farmers do that make them crave ranchers. 

We all know that the act of making lunch is not what makes a wonderful wife. But, the farmer shows his appreciation for even the little acts like packing his lunch. More importantly, she knows that if he packed his own lunch it would consist of one rancher after another. Sure ranchers taste amazing but you can’t live off ranchers alone. Imagine a diet consisting of one rancher after another, it shouldn’t be done. But, having a tasty rancher with lunch can’t be beat.

Imagine This:

You’re reclining on your tractor with your feet up on the steering wheel. A cool refreshing breeze blows across your skin and makes its way to the leaves dancing in the trees. This is your calm and relaxing time in the midst of a busy day of doing what you do. Your mouth begins to water. It is as if your taste buds are starting a rebellion in your mouth. The only thing that you can do to tame this watery uprising is eat a rancher. You do, and it is amazing. It is all you hoped for and more. 

And We’re Back:

It has been said, a time or two, that you need to cherish precious moments. Imagine having moments like that every day. They wouldn’t be as few and far between as people say. Those precious moments could be anytime you want them. Or, as allowed by those who strictly adhere to healthy lunch packing guidelines. Either way, you have a chance to taste greatness. Why not put all your worries aside, only for a moment, and enjoy the heavenly experience of eating a rancher. 

 If you’ve made it this far you are in one of two mindsets.

  1. You are totally and utterly shocked at the idea of a cannibalistic sharecropper traversing this world and eating poor helpless ranchers.
  2. Your knowledge of the hard candy industry tells you that Ranchers are quite Jolly and extremely tasty.

Either way, wasn’t it wonderful to take a break from the real world and enjoy a  short story about a farmer’s eating habits? At most, you have a burning desire to go out and buy some Jolly Ranchers. At the very least men have learned to appreciate even the little things.  Women have realized that if it weren’t for them, men might eat candy for every meal. It is a win/win situation.


I am not affiliated with the makers of Jolly Ranchers. I just enjoy the candy and got the idea for this post from looking at a bag of Jolly Ranchers.

Author: askewcw

I have loved writing for as long as I can remember. I have only recently tried to apply my love for writing to the copy writing world. I am new to the business of writing and plan to spend my days learning as much as I can to create compelling content.